Chapter 08: Using LangUage VERBAL & NON-VERBAL
Using LangUage VERBAL & NON-VERBAL
In this discussion of language in public speaking, you will explore the shaping of a speech as if it were artwork. You will examine the colors, tones, hues, shapes, imagery, and integral blends that can make that painting stand out or eventually be recognized as a masterpiece.
PART 1
VERBAL
Language is defined as a structured method of human communication using words, writings or gestures systematically, so as to convey commonly understood meanings by those within the same geographic area, community, nation, or cultural tradition.
Key to the definition of language is that it is structured, systematic, commonly understood, and could be either words, writings, or gestures.
Language being structured indicates that language is comprised of rules, and the three major components of language structure are morphology (how words are formed), phonology (the way letters sound), and syntax (grammar, or how words are related within a sentence).
Language being systematic indicates that there is a standard system for speaking that language; for the English language, the alphabet is the system used. Incidentally, all languages have an alpha beta or symbolic system.
Language being commonly understood indicates that anyone communicating in that language should at least know how the system works and be observant of the rules in order to be understood by others within that system.
Finally, language uses words, writings, or gestures.
Words are basic elements of language comprised of a combination of letters or symbols forming sounds with commonly understood meanings to the people of that language community. Writings are those words memorialized into written form, and gestures are the non-verbal actions or activities that accompany the words that would often help to reinforce the message.
In the previous discussion on delivery, focus was on the how-to; in this discussion on language, focus will be on both the speech content and its conveyance.
USING LANGUAGE
When a speech is being designed, a story is being told or a screenplay is being written; the code to that story, speech, or screenplay is the language, and this must be selected carefully to unveil the obvious as well as the hidden messages and meanings within that speech or story.
Do most stories have hidden messages? It seems like most good stories do have undercurrents of messages interwoven throughout the main storyline. In some stories, the hidden messages are referred to as the sub-plots. In literature, some of these underlying messages are in the form of metaphors, analogies and other literary terms described broadly as figures of speech.
PART 2
When is Language Used
- To share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you use Sharing your thoughts means you must define, designate, or label those thoughts and feelings or, in some cases, limit how much you share, thereby limiting how much you would like others to know.
- The evaluative component of language allows you or others to put either a negative or positive spin on information by deliberately choosing certain words to describe events or For example, using the word “terrorist”( negative spin) in one statement regarding a story and then using the word “freedom fighters”(positive spin) to tell that same story. The connotation of each word stirs up either negative or positive emotions in the listener. In these situations, language is used to evaluate or influence.
- To discuss events with others that were not experienced personally, language is By listening to others as they share their experiences, and being able to understand those experiences through discussions, and analysis of those experiences, shared common vision, and common heritage, shared meaning is experienced.
- Language is used to qualify language; there is actually no other resource currently available to discuss how something was stated, except to paraphrase a statement or rephrase a question and, in doing so, we become self-reflexive, using words to discuss words.
Each time language is used, two things occur simultaneously: information is exchanged, and a relationship with the listener is being negotiated. If the two are incongruous, the result would most likely be a conflicted relationship. Misunderstandings can occur quite frequently because of the complicated relationship between language and meaning, content and relationship.
Many words have changed meaning through the course of time and generations, including but not limited to slang or euphemisms. Even the truth has become confusing to many and questioned by others because of the idea of a new alternative truth being promulgated in the 21st century, mostly for political expediency.
Before 1100, old English or Anglo–Saxon was spoken and written; this was the Germanic language of England before the country was called England.
Generationally, the language changed as younger generations invented new words or assigned different meanings to the words they had learned. The younger generation considered certain words no longer useful for conveying meaning in that generation, so they dropped those words, and eventually, those words disappeared from the lexicon.
Below are a few examples of words that have disappeared from our lexicon,and their current replacements.
Andsaca – enemy
Deofol – devil
Faeder – father
Folde – earth
Ceald – cold
eald – old
Lufu – love
Wif – wife
Here are some Anglo-Saxon action words (verbs) and their replacements:
Acwellan – to kill
Clipian – to call
Forhtian – to fear
Sellan – to sell
Willan- to want
Witan – to know
Writan – to write
Onginnan – to begin
These examples show the evolvement of the English language, and in some cases, how the replacement word reflects the word it replaced.
New words are constantly being created; some will eventually become standard usage, while other words will become obsolete. However, the use of language is a creative act, and because of this, words are defined differently in various dictionaries and some are given multiple meanings.
Writers and users are given free license to invent, create, and recreate words, thereby creating a new language that the lexicographer would monitor, research, and eventually add to the dictionary based on its pervasive usage in our culture.
As the words become updated, so does the associated emotional overtone of the word, and this adds to the complication between denotative and connotative meaning of words.
The denotative meaning is the assigned dictionary meaning(s), while the connotative meaning is the emotional association of that word; stated another way, it’s not what you say, but how you’ve said what you’ve said. To understand the important relationship between denotative and connotative words is to understand the importance of speaking clearly and to think before speaking, since the only message that matters is the message that is understood, regardless of whether it was the message intended.
“Say what you mean and mean what you say”; in other words, increase your message clarity by reducing ambiguity.
An example of simplicity, clarity, and good story telling is Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005.
Steve Jobs 2005, Stanford commencement address, YouTube
Steve Jobs speech was simple; it was not filled with literary terms, highfalutin language, or indiscernible words. He instead recalled inspirational stories about his life journey, and told it in an interesting way that made us want to listen. Jobs used clarity.
Clarity is increased when you are specific, precise, and concrete in your language.
Specific words help to clarify meaning by narrowing your understanding of something from a general category to a particular group within that category.
For example, instead of saying “He is from the Caribbean”, to be specific, you might say “He is from Barbados”.
Precise words are the most accurate to use in order to express meaning; they allow you to be very exact or on point.
For example, in the world of culinary arts, measurements for certain recipes must be very exact and as close to perfect as it can possibly be, since the precise measurements could impact the taste of that product.
For example, rather than saying “a dash of allspice”, substitute in its place “a quarter teaspoon of allspice”.
Concrete words help to clarify abstract ideas; they allow you to paint visual images with words so that our senses are impacted by its appeal.
In his “I Have a Dream” speech, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, in addition to repetition, used a lot of metaphors which provided comparisons, thereby adding imagery to his language.
The metaphors Dr. King used were of many forms and classifications, all appealing to our senses and imaginations, and instantaneously broadened the appeal of his message; this is precisely what concrete words allow us to achieve.
An analysis of Dr. King’s “I have a Dream “speech is appropriate at this time; it fits precisely into this discussion of increasing message clarity by choosing language that would allow for this to be possible.
The link below will allow you to view Dr. King’s 1963 “I Have a Dream” speech.
MLK I have A Dream Speech
The analysis of Dr. King’s speech is done in my classroom each semester; examined are several aspects of the speech, including the theme, speech type, main points, sub-points, visual/material support/evidence, style, language, and delivery.
For this discussion, the focus will be on Dr. King’s language and style. For context, the main points of the speech will be identified, and quotes from various parts of the speech will allow for the exploration of language dynamics he employed to support his main points, engage the audience and provide clarity.
There are three main points identified: 1. Freedom, 2. Justice, 3. Equality.
Dr. King supported these points in multiple ways; he utilized Bible quotations, spiritual song verses, the U.S. constitution, the emancipation proclamation, declaration of independence, his dream poem, personal examples, political occurrences at the time (in 1963), and language that painted undeniable images of injustice, inequality, and the denial of freedom.
Using repetitive language helps to reinforce a point, idea, or theme. The repetition of a clause, phrase, or word at the beginning of a sentence is called Anaphora; some examples of this in the speech are:“We can never be satisfied..”, ”Let freedom ring..”, ”Now is the time”, and “I have a dream”.
Comparisons allow us to witness the advantages or disadvantages of a situation, action, or practice by contrasting or juxtaposing those things side by side.
Dr. King used multiple types of comparisons; reification, which compares the abstract with something that is concrete, was used to support his point regarding injustice. For example, “But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt..” and “…insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation” although not referring to money but to justice itself (the abstract). He mentioned “…open the doors (concrete) of opportunity (abstract)”and “…;valley of despair..” valley, denotatively defined as a low area of land wedged between a hill or mountain, is a concrete reference devoid of human emotions, compared to despair, which is an abstract emotion, one which, as a human, you can feel, but cannot touch.
Comparison was also made with the use of analogies; the comparison of two things which are either alike, referred to as a literal analogy, or unalike, a figurative analogy.
For example, in his reference that America was not living up to its promise of freedom, justice, and equality for all its citizens, he compares this deficiency to a bank default; America has “..defaulted on its promissory note..”. Dr. King drew the comparison of injustice as daylight to night when he says, “..jealous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity”, and to emphasize the urgency with which America needs to act, he says, “There is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off, or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism”. In reference to his main point on justice, in his analogy, he refers to it as “palace of justice”, in comparison to “cup of bitterness and hatred”.
The dream speech was laced with metaphors, a metaphor being a figure of speech where a word or phrase is applied to an object or to an action where it is not applicable.
There are multiple examples of this in MLK’s speech; here are a few:“the negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity”;this was stated in support of his point on equality. In reference to his hope and faith for freedom, freedom being another of his main points, he metaphorically states, “..we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope” and“..we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation, into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”
Alliteration in a speech adds impact and interest; it is the same letter or sound at the beginning of a sentence or with closely connected words. The alliteration creates tempo, tempo creates rhythm. Rhythm creates a distinct beat that adds interest and impact to the message being imparted.
Alliterations MLK used in his speech included the “S” sound; “This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass..” ,Dr. King is urging the nation to act quickly to correct the injustices because the negro is becoming impatient. Dr. King is, however, requesting and insisting that the struggle remain non-violent. He uses the “D” sound; “We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline”.
To emphasize the call for unity in the struggle for freedom and justice, Dr. King used the “T” sound alliteration; “With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together..”
Like his use of metaphors, MLK also used similes, which is a figure of speech that compares one thing that is different with another that is different. The comparison is made using the word “Like” or “As”.
In urging those in attendance to hold steadfast and unwavering in the quest and struggle for freedom, justice, and equality, he emphasized this with the simile“.. and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a might stream”.
The “I have a Dream” speech is memorable because of the imagery, impactful because of the delivery, and invigorating because of the use of repetition, comparisons, and others aspects of language which helped to reinforce the message. Of course, the messenger must garner the respect of the audience, be sincere, knowledgeable, intelligent, resolute, and passionate.
Can most of us learn to do speeches like Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech? I believe so, but it requires the development of your ability to be specific, concrete, and precise.
First, you must build your vocabulary – it requires you to read more and work with the words you read; use those words in conversations with friends, family members, and associates.
How well you are understood depends on how well you are able to choose your words to best describe or express your thoughts, and this ability rests on the extensiveness of your vocabulary.
If you hate reading, it will be very difficult for you to deliver speeches in the likes of the dream speech.
Formal study can help you build your vocabulary because it requires you to read extensively or use text-books and other vocabulary-building materials.
In conversations with individuals who speak English as a second language, most say movies with subtitles and listening to news reports helped with learning the language and building vocabulary. Practice listening.
You can also build your own dictionary of words; a method I had used extensively.
As you read, record the new words and their definitions, then practice using those words even as you continue to develop other new words.
Playing word games like Scrabble, Pictionary, Scattegory (big boggle), Quiddler, Tapple, and Word on the Street to name a few, assists in building your vocabulary. You are required to think quickly and under pressure in some of these word games, and most of them are equipped with a dictionary. This method of building your vocabulary is fun and challenging.
I have read stories of individuals reading the entire dictionary from cover to cover in order to build their vocabulary of words; if you have the time, or perhaps doing time, then by all means.
Secondly, you must develop and hone your critical thinking skills. Become more cognizant of the language you use in conversations and in serious talk, and generate alternative and thoughtful ways of expressing yourself. Be mindful that your language is specific, precise, and concrete when you speak. Think before you speak.
If you find yourself apologizing often, this could mean that you’re either speaking out of turn, or you’re saying something that might be offensive to your listener.
Therefore, if your listener feels uneasy after you have had a conversation or exchanged comments, perhaps you’re not thinking before you speak.
Put the onus or burden of a conversation’s clarity on yourself; it is within your control to adjust this and do something about it. If you take care of your half, then you have done your part.
So far, we have emphasized the importance of specificity, concreteness, and precision in your language. This does not mean that you cannot generalize; you hear others make generalizations “all the time”. There you go, I just made a generalization by saying all the time without making an effort to qualify the phrase.
At the end of a speech or written material, such as a book, credit (also called a bibliography) is given to individuals, organizations, publications, or institutions whose research, quotations, documents, and material were used to create or recreate the current content being observed. This is done to avoid plagiarizing other’s works, to give credit to others for their contribution, and to avoid generalizations and false assumptions for material that you were not directly responsible for.
However, if you still find yourself generalizing, there are ways for you to qualify your generalizations when using language so that you remain specific and precise when you generalize.
PART 3
GENERALIZATION
By definition, a generalization is a broad statement that someone applies to multiple examples because those examples may have certain things in common. No attempt is made to qualify the exceptions, thereby making the generalization a conclusion. It is, therefore, safe to say that all generalizations are conclusions; however, not all conclusions are generalizations.
When using generalized language, for it to not be an invalid comment, you can date or index your generalization.
DATE YOUR GENERALIZATIONS
To date your generalization means you must specify a time reference that would indicate when a given fact was true or known to be true.
The first step in dating your generalization is to research the historical facts about the person, place, or object in question.
Your research would then allow you to determine when the information you have about that person, place, or object was true. You must then acknowledge the time period in which you acquired and validated the information in question.
If the information you have acquired is inaccurate, then your conclusion will be inaccurate. However, if the information was true at a specific time but is no longer true, then the time reference would qualify its validity for that given period.
In citing that information, the date must be specified in order for the citation to be presumed valid.
For example, regard the following statement:
To date your generalization means you must specify a time reference that would indicate when a given fact was true or known to be true.
The first step in dating your generalization is to research the historical facts about the person, place, or object in question.
Your research would then allow you to determine when the information you have about that person, place, or object was true. You must then acknowledge the time period in which you acquired and validated the information in question.
If the information you have acquired is inaccurate, then your conclusion will be inaccurate. However, if the information was true at a specific time but is no longer true, then the time reference would qualify its validity for that given period.
In citing that information, the date must be specified in order for the citation to be presumed valid.
For example, regard the following statement:
“The resident population of the United States is 309 million people”.
The statement is a generalization and, therefore, could be disqualified from actually being factual. In order to make the statement more relevant or factual, a time reference should be used to qualify the statement since the given figure might have been relevant at a certain given time.
Accurately phrased with a time reference, the statement would read:
“According to the 2010 U.S. census, the resident population of the United States was 309 million people”.
The statement is a generalization and, therefore, could be disqualified from actually being factual. In order to make the statement more relevant or factual, a time reference should be used to qualify the statement since the given figure might have been relevant at a certain given time.
Accurately phrased with a time reference, the statement would read:
INDEX YOUR GENERALIZATIONS
Indexing is a way to account for individual differences instead of simply generalizing and placing everyone or all things into that class. To index your statement, you must consider whether your comment is specific about that person, object, or place. Using your critical thinking skills, determine if your statement is too broad or general, or whether you are generalizing the class to which that person, object, or place belong; if you are, qualify it appropriately in order to ensure that your assertion is in line with the evidence that supports it.
When you use language inappropriately, as in generalizing, you create difficulties for yourself and others, and among the most egregious are bad feelings, which then lead to misunderstandings and the possible erosion of relationships.
Speak clearly, think before you speak, and use language that is appropriate to your listener and your listener’s needs.
For example, saying “Most Americans consume fast foods daily” is a generalized statement and may be inaccurate, not because it is a generalization, but because it is non-indexed.
The indexed statement would read, “A little over one-third of Americans eat fast foods daily”.
Indexed and dated, the statement would read:
“According to a National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, during 2013-2016 (dated), 36.6 % of Americans (indexed) consumed fast foods on a daily basis.”
PART 4
LANGUAGE, CULTURE AND GENDER
Language and culture are inseparable; culture often determines gender roles, which in turn adds an interesting dynamic to language, communication, and conversations.
Language is embedded with cultural codes; these codes are passed on from generation to generation, and hence language is passed on from one generation to the next.
As humans, once we formulate a thought, in order to express that thought, we must think it in a language. Sometimes you may have to translate the thought from one language to another; if that language is not your native language, doing this allows you to express yourself more clearly and ensure understanding by your listener.
Your culture determines the language or languages you speak as well as the connotations within that language, and there are 4 dimensions of culture that provide for the reasons why language connotations occur.
REASONS FOR LANGUAGE CONNOTATIONS
In individualistic cultures – these cultures value uniqueness, independence, and being autonomous. Individual or personal goals take precedent over group or the extended family goals. Conversations are focused on “I” and not “we”, and the language is more direct and seemingly affirmative. Individual progress and success is measured by the advancement of the individual’s achievement, surpassing that of parents or immediate family members.
The United States, Australia, Great Britain, and Western European countries are some examples of countries that emphasize individualism over collectivism.
In Group cultures – these cultures value the group more than individual goals; therefore, harmony, solidarity, and interdependency within groups are fostered. Extended families tend to live together for longer periods of time than do those within individualistic cultures. Group harmony is emphasized. Conversations are focused on “We” not “I”, and the language is more indirect.
Central and South America, Asia, and Africa are some examples of countries that emphasize collectivism over individualism.
In Low Uncertainty Avoidance cultures – these cultures tend to be more tolerant of differences in behavior. Therefore, in dealing with anxiety, these cultures are more accepting. Taking risks and making decisions that could yield uncertain results do not cause as much anxiety. In voicing opinions, individuals from the low uncertainty avoidance cultures are more accepting of differing opinions.
The U.S., Sweden, and Demark are some examples of countries exhibiting low Uncertainty Avoidance.
High Uncertainty Avoidance cultures – these cultures tend to exhibit higher levels of stress and anxiety among its people. Risk-taking is minimized and generally avoided, while rules and structure are emphasized. Differing opinions are generally muted or at least not voiced publicly.
Greece, Japan, Israel, Mexico, and Germany are some examples of countries exhibiting high Uncertainty Avoidance.
Maintaining gender roles of expected behavior is what differentiates masculine from feminine cultures. The rules dictate the roles and the roles determine the language.
Masculine cultures – value assertiveness, aggression, dominance, competition, and toughness. The culture believes that these values are indicative of how a male should behave, and this behavior is pervasive within the culture and recognized as a cultural norm. These cultures believe that the male should be the one working outside of the home to provide for the family; a throwback perhaps to a time when hunting and fishing were the primary ways of being able to feed the family, and the male took on that responsibility. Competition and competitive sports tend to be part of curriculum in schools as opposed to it being an extracurricular activity.
The language and conversations within the masculine culture tend to perceptively rest on retaining manhood, self-esteem, strength, and confidence; the perception of weakness is considered a feminine trait.
In the United States, the culture is inherently biased against females. Men have created the meanings and standards for the group, resulting in muted voices for females; e.g. abortion, and voting rights issues.
Examples of countries exhibiting masculine cultures are the United States, Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, Haiti, Egypt, Afghanistan, Japan, and Germany.
Feminine cultures – allow both genders to assume varying roles. The focus within this culture is on relationships and quality of life.
To clarify the point, both genders are concerned about the quality of life, which is a human quality; however, in feminine cultures, more emphasis is placed on this aspect of life because to women of that culture, it is viewed as a mark of success.
Gender roles lines are blurred in feminine cultures, and because of this, expectations are that both genders should be able to and can perform any role; there is no designation of male or female roles.
The language and conversation within a feminine culture, when viewed from a male perspective, would seem to be unassertive and lacking in confidence. While the masculine language tends to be objective, more forceful, fact-focused, and declarative, the feminine language tends to be apologetic, more about feelings, concern for others, and maintaining relationships.
Examples of countries exhibiting feminine cultures are Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Australia, Norway, and New Zealand.
This refers to cultures with distinctive views and practices of power-sharing or power-distribution among the members.
In High power distance cultures – members show respect to figures of authority, and tend to avoid clashes with those in authority. There is greater disparity between those with power and those without.
In a side-by-side comparison, based on research studies, below are other revelations concerning high power distance cultures:
- The system of government and governing is usually Militaristic, autocratic, or oligarchic which results in frequent violence in domestic politics and political transitioning.
- Power, status, and wealth are inseparable. To possess power within the culture is consistent with status and In other words, power brings status and wealth, therefore, the attainment of power is of primary importance.
- Religion is used as a means of power and control. Hence, the culture stresses religious stratification and hierarchy.
- Power is usually attained through the use of Therefore, force is the essence of power attainment.
Examples of countries exhibiting high power distance cultures are China, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, and Lebanon.
(Hofstede, Hofstede, & Minkov, 2010, p. 116) Hofstede, G., Hofstede, G. J., Minkov, M.(2010). Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind. 3rd
In low power distance cultures, the following characteristics and findings prevail:
- In regards to politics, Government systems are pluralistic, meaning, representatives are selected and elected based on a majority vote and there is little violence in domestic political transitions.
- Power, status, and wealth are separate. There might be individuals within the culture with vast wealth but with little political power or status, or with status, but little political power being exercised.
- Individuals have the freedom to practice the religion of their choice without infringement upon these rights, and equally guaranteed to all.
- The use of force to foster change signals the failure of power within that culture since power structure is pluralistic.
Examples of countries exhibiting low power distance cultures are the U.S., Canada, New Zealand, and Australia.
(Hofstede, Hofstede, & Minkov, 2010, p. 116) Hofstede, G., Hofstede, G. J., Minkov, (2010). Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind. 3 rd
Speak Appropriately
What really matters in using language, is you must speak appropriately by choosing language and symbols that relate to the needs, interests, knowledge, and attributes of your listener. Choose a language that does not alienate your listener, but rather reduces the semantic noises which persists during the communication process.
PART 5
NON-VERBAL
Nonverbal communication (unspoken messages) and nonverbal communication behavior (actions/activities/vocal qualities) are not mutually exclusive. Instead, they are used simultaneously in communication, and reinforces each other to make the message more impactful.
Nonverbal communication is communicating without the use of words, or the process of stimulating meaning in the mind of another human being by using nonverbal messages.
There are several misconceptions about nonverbal communication: one is that 90%-93% of meaning comes from nonverbal communication. This is inaccurate, because while a large portion (about 65%-70%) of our messages is nonverbal, there are other considerations such as tone and body language that help to convey its meaning.
Another misconception is that nonverbal communication is universally understood. This is again erroneous, because while it might be true that there are nonverbal expressions that are universally recognized, nonverbal communication has to be interpreted in order to be understood.
A third misconception is that you can accurately detect deceptions through nonverbal communication; you cannot, because of the inconsistencies of nonverbal communication.
A fourth misconception is that you can study nonverbal communication by reading about it; untrue, nonverbal communication does not involve written language like verbal messages, therefore; it cannot be read.
You are able to recognize nonverbal communication because of its characteristics; it is symbolic, involves decoding and encoding, it is dynamic and static, rules-governed, cultural, personal ,and less controlled or controllable.
Symbolic
Nonverbal communication uses symbols in language to communicate – there is subjective interpretation of meaning when symbols like a ring or a handshake are used. The symbol signifies something beyond the actual object or action. Use symbols that would convey the appropriate and correct meanings you wish to convey.
Decoding & Encoding
Decoding is assigning meaning to nonverbal symbols, like a handshake or the exchange of a ring. The symbolic meaning is between the communicators; the interpreter assigns the meaning.
Encoding is using the nonverbal symbols to convey meaning. A gesture becomes significant when the encoder (the Speaker, message conveyor, Sender) uses the symbol in ways that the decoder understands that symbol to be used when a specific type of significant non-verbal message is being sent.
Dynamic & Static
Nonverbal communication being dynamic means it can vary during an interaction. An expression, like a smile or eye contact, can be altered during an interaction depending on the message.
Static nonverbal communication does not change during an exchange. For example, how you are dressed during that specific interaction would remain the same from the beginning until the end of the interaction.
Rules
Nonverbal communication has rules which determine the type of behavior considered appropriate, preferred, or obligated. You must be mindful and very observant of the rules of nonverbal communication based on the listener or audience you are encoding information for. The circumstance usually determines the rules.
Cultural
Just as your culture would determine the rules to be observed during a communication exchange, the culture of the audience determines what behavior is culturally appropriate.
For example, in the U.S., tipping is viewed not only as a courtesy, it is also considered culturally appropriate, whereas in some other parts of the world like Japan, tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult.
Personal
You can create and develop your own nonverbal symbols and personal meanings by the way you choose to dress or wear your hair.
There is a particular way I choose to dress when attending certain events, and this style has become uniquely my forte; especially after having observed time after time at events of over 150 guests in attendance, I am usually the only person dressed in this way.
Less Controlled
Although you may not always say what you’re thinking, you may nevertheless be expressing it unknowingly via your body language, referred to as nonverbal seepage.
The expression of your thoughts might unwittingly show up as an expression of disgust, surprise, fear, anger, or any of the other universal facial expressions we will discuss next.
PART 6
Nonverbal Communication Behavior
Nonverbal communication behavior are the actions, activities, and vocal qualities that typically accompany a verbal message. These accompaniments are intentional and deliberate, although not always consciously being applied.
Like nonverbal communication, nonverbal communication behavior can be distinctive and identified by its characteristics, which are universal, ambiguous, continuous, multichannel, and insightful into emotional states.
Universal
The same facial expression is often used to communicate six specific emotions which are universally recognized and used; they are: anger, fear, happiness, sadness, disgust, and surprise.
Although the spoken language, dialect, or culture may differ, these six emotional expressions mentioned are recognized instantaneously, and require little translation.
Ambiguous
You can exhibit the same behavior, but that behavior could represent different emotions and can mean different things to different people.
A smile could mean friendliness or displeasure; the decoder would have to interpret what that smile really means based on the context. If the context is unclear, the smile becomes a difficult emotion to interpret and ,therefore, becomes ambiguous to the decoder. It is, therefore, imperative that the verbal and nonverbal are congruous when conversing or delivering a speech.
Continuous
Nonverbal communication is ceaseless as long as people are in each other’s presence. Once the verbal sound of communication stops, nonverbal communication continues indefinitely and for as long in proximity to each other.
As you practice public speaking, you will learn how to use those moments of silence as dramatic pauses to impact your speech delivery.
Multichannel
One of the most powerful characteristics of nonverbal communication behavior is its incorporation of multiple channels when messages are being delivered and decoded.
Verbal communication depends, in large part, on the sound of the voice as the spoken word is heard. Nonverbal communication utilizes most, if not all of your receptive channels, making it possible for the behavior to be heard, seen, felt, smelled, and tasted simultaneously.
Emotional states Insights
The nonverbal expressions of your feelings may sometimes say more than your words can. Sometimes, you don’t need to hear words to make a determination about the emotional state of someone else; a smile or a wink, maybe the quiver of that person’s bottom lip or the tears slowly welling up in their eyes, conveys their sadness or present state of mind, and neither you nor that person needs to exchange words for that determination to be made.
The nonverbal communication behavior observed provides insight into the emotional state and communicates the depth of that person’s feelings more than words do and can.
Body Motion Codes
When the verbal and nonverbal are used simultaneously, as in combination during a speech or conversation, a more potent speech emerges, providing a more intense level of verbal and nonverbal communication referred to as body motion codes.
In the previous discussion on Delivery, we discussed body movement and techniques of using your body during a speech delivery; in this discussion, you will explore six ways to intensify language by combining both the nonverbal and verbal expressions of each. (Ekman and Friesen, 1968)
Emblems
Emblems are used in place of a word or a phrase, but there could be verbalization of the word or phrase as the nonverbal emblem is displayed.
For example, showing the heart sign (love) to express love for someone or something.
Figure 8.1 : Heart sign using the fingers
Illustrators
Illustrators are used to compliment what a speaker is actually saying. There are five ways you can illustrate:
- To emphasize a word or phrase like “stop” – stomp your feet, pound on a table, or hold your hand up with your palm facing the receiver.
Figure 8.2.
To provide someone with directions as they are being told how to travel, they are also shown the path to take.
- To show someone a position of where to sit, stand, or move to, – the nonverbal illustration is used to compliment the verbal directie.
- To describe – as the object, thing, or event is verbally described, the nonverbal is used to emphasize and compliment the description.
- To mimic – as you try to demonstrate in the exact way how someone did something, like a basketball shot, you add the sound effect to demonstrate the ball swooshing through the net.
Affect Displays
In support of a nonverbal event (regarding something you or someone else physically experienced), that event or happening is almost immediately accompanied by the affect display, which is a verbal expression augmenting that experience. If the physical experience was painful, the verbal expression might be Owww! or Oh S***!, or if someone else stumbles and falls, your verbal expression might be Ooops!. The verbal expression in support of the nonverbal behavior is usually spontaneous.
Regulators
This is a way of controlling the flow of conversation. Use of the eyes, head, mouth, hands, or shoulders is used to regulate the conversation.
The nonverbal regulators could vary from a head nod, which is oftentimes used at auctions when placing a bid or to raise a bid, to shifting your eye contact to acknowledge comments from someone, moving the eyebrows, which could indicate a question, comment, or concern, depending on the direction of the eyebrows (up or down), moving the hands in a rotation motion to indicate nonverbally that the speaker should repeat or hurry up, raising your hand in a classroom to indicate to the teacher that you would like to speak, or shrugging your shoulders (lifting the shoulders) to indicate either lack of knowledge or concern.
Adaptors are used to relieve tension. Adaptors might be used while verbalizing or thinking (speaking internally). If used while speaking verbally, that individual might scratch their head or wring their hands if contemplating a thought or thinking through a process silently, that person might shake their legs or nibble on their pencil.
Ways to use Nonverbal communication in speech messaging and conversations
- When you want to interconnect with verbal communication to emphasize a point verbally without actually using the words, you can use nonverbal elements like tone of voice or a facial expression.
- When you wish to regulate an interaction to signal that an interaction is over or has just started; for instance, by just holding up your index finger, the other person will almost automatically pause.
- When you wish to transmit an attitude or emotional information to someone else; as an example, rapidly moving away from that person while talking would show anxiety or impatience, and your attitude would be transmitted.
- When you want to show how meaningful or meaningless your relationship is with someone else, you will engage in the types of communication that would either help you to develop a stronger relationship or a weaker one. For example, ignoring the other person’s comments while voicing your own, or not being response when someone asks you for help or assistance.
Types of nonverbal communication
There are types of nonverbal communication we utilize daily, but we are unconscious of the ways they impact our lives. Being aware of their existence would allow us to find ways to manage, use, and incorporate these nonverbal communication types into our daily routines. The following is a list of types of nonverbal communication that we should become more observant of.
The Environment (Incorporating the nonverbal)
Within the environment lie six dimensions, referred to as settings; these greatly influence our perceptions, and many are used deliberately to attract business and wealth, others are used to provide limitations, while others perceptively help to stimulate certain types of relationships.
- Formality within the environment, like your furnishings, lighting, and décor, would effuse either a business-like atmosphere or relaxation.
- Warmth within an environment could signify it to be a welcoming and comfortable place; the use of certain colors provides this allure. The psychological effect on those within the space is a sense of ease, and the conversations reflect this attitude.
- If an environment is perceived as secluded or not secluded, Privacy will be affected, and so will The more secluded the environment, the more private and secure that environment will be perceived to be.
- Familiarity can increase comfort level; therefore, for individuals to adjust quickly to a new environment, it is beneficial to incorporate things that are familiar or that they are familiar with in that environment.
- A Constraint, like a fence, wooden or metal street barrier, a wall, a glass partition, or the metal bars of a prison cell, is a perceptual indicator that movement within that environment is restricted. If you want to manage people’s movement and constrain them to certain areas, these objects are effective constraints.
- Distance between people, places, or objects presents the perception of separation. The greater the distance, the further Distance is also used when people are at odds with each other; the greater the conflict, the more distance is desired, especially for individuals who have no option but to be in the same space.
Individuals experience the actual distance, which is measurable, and the perceived distance, unmeasurable, which often feels closer than it actually is when there is conflict.
Proxemics (Incorporating the nonverbal)
Proxemics is the study of the use of space and distance, and we all have personal spaces.
Depending on your culture and personality, your personal space bubble (the bubble that surrounds and buffers you) could be as wide as 12 feet or more, or as close as 18 inches.
The outgoing and friendly personality type will allow less distance between themselves and others; however, the culture of those individuals will strongly dictate the distances between them and, in some instances, override the personal choices.
The characteristics of your personal space and the spaces you choose for communication exchange can affect that encounter, including the outcome of that exchange. Three elements to be aware of are: the temperature, lighting, and color within the environment.
In the United Sates, there are four characteristic distances or zones (Hall).
- Intimate distance or zone,;18” apart or less, and this distance is appropriate for individuals who know each other well, either intimately or very close.
- Personal distance or zone; 18” – 4’, this distance is appropriate for having casual conversations with good friends and individuals you are close to.
- Social distance or zone; 4’-12’, this distance is appropriate for first time meetings with people, and for impersonal business transactions like a job interview.
- Public distance or zone; 12’ or more, the appropriate distance for addressing public events or for public speaking engagements.
Interpersonal problems occur when one person’s use of space violates the behavioral expectations of another.
We divulge information unknowingly about ourselves nonverbally, through our attitudes, behavior, and use of personal space; adjusting our distances can change others perceptions of us, and vice versa.
The aesthetics, setting, or ambience, which includes the temperature, lighting, and color of a space, creates atmosphere and communicates about us and to us in emotional ways.
Temperature
The temperature of a room can stimulate or inhibit effective communication because it can alter the mood of individuals and change the level of their attentiveness. Temperatures should be adjusted to where the majority of people within that space feel comfortable.
Lighting
Lighting adds meaning to communication messages; low lighting levels can change a room’s atmosphere from bland to romantic, or from romantic to lively and energetic. A brightly lit room encourages good conversation, good listening, and is comfortable for reading. Your mood can, therefore, be altered by adjusting the lighting.
Different cultures engage and react to light differently, and studies show that Eastern countries prefer cooler lights while Western countries have a preference for warmer lights.
In today’s digital age and digital messaging, we’ve become blinded by the clutter of light from almost everywhere; traffic lights, theatre lights, digital signage, light festivals around the world used by cities to create awareness, pay tribute, and memorialize events (911 tribute in lights), and lights that bring people together, all communicative messages screaming at us as we become more and more immune to the noise being emitted.
Color
People react both emotionally and physically to color; that’s because color has a psychological effect on the human brain, and this effect, in part, relates to your culture.
Red is the easiest color to see because it has the longest wave length of all the colors; it excites and stimulates, and is also one of the primary colors of light along with green and blue.
For pigment, the primary colors are red, yellow, and blue; blue tends to soothe and comfort, while yellow tends to elevate your mood, although not in all cultures. Therefore, based on your culture, color will affect you both physically and psychologically.
Feng Shui, an Eastern practice of arranging furnishings in your living space to create balance within the natural world, uses colors to help achieve this balance. The Feng Shui colors relate to the five elements of wood, fire, earth, metal, and water, with the corresponding colors of blue and green for wood, red for fire, yellow for earth, white, beige and silver for metal, and black and dark blue for water; combined, these elements and colors generate and spread energy.
Chakras, originally practiced in ancient India by Yogi Masters, became a thing in Western culture about 30-40 years ago.The practice of balancing your energy and energy light centers utilizes colors in many of its practices. Incorporating the 7 colors of light to the seven major light centers of the energy body is now widely practiced.
The color of white light which is comprised of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet is identified with the seven chakras, which begin at the root chakra (red), to the sacral chakra (orange), to the solar plexus (yellow), to the heart chakra (green & pink), to the throat chakra,(blue), to the third eye chakra (indigo), to the crown chakra (violet).
The additional representation of the colors is in alignment with nature the natural foods we should consume (fruits & vegetables), and the centers they nourish for balance in the physical body.
Figure 8.3.
Territoriality (Incorporating the nonverbal)
Territoriality is your regard or reaction to an area, space, or object you own.
Individuals who are non-territorial would act indifferent to the possible infringement on an area, space, or object they claim ownership for, while the reaction is the opposite for individuals who are territorial.
There are three types of Territories; primary, secondary, and public.
- Primary territories are territories you own and use exclusively, like your bedroom or car.
- Secondary territories are territories Have occupied for a long time, but this territory does not necessarily belong to you, for example, that desk or classroom seat at college.
- Public territories are spaces belonging to everyone, like highways, public beaches, and parks.
The nonverbal reaction of individuals toward territories they claim ownership for is useful in determining the personality type and culture of those individuals. This information helps with determining strategies to employ when interacting with those people.
We use territorial markers to claim the territories we own or claim to own, and this practice is innate, universal, and prevalent in humans and across the animal kingdom. It is part of the survival mechanism animals use.
Three types of Territorial Markers
- Central markers – these markers are items you would place in a territory to reserve it.
For example, placing your coat, bag, or backpack on a chair, table, or desk indicates to others in that space that you have temporarily claimed ownership to that space which you have inadvertently marked for yourself or someone else.
- Boundary markers – every country in the world have boundary markers or borders and use various markers to differentiate its territory from others.
Within the United States, states, cities, towns, and villages would use a boundary stone, border marker, a pillar, monument, or other markers to identify the start of a land boundary or the change in a boundary. In neighborhoods, fences serve the purpose of boundary markers. Boulders and rivers are natural markers and are the third highest in evidential markers in disputes, behind boundary markers and manmade boundary markers.
Boundary markers were originally used for social, political, and religious reasons.
- Ear markers – these are identifying marks on objects or territories that would indicate ownership or possession of that object or territory.
Ear marking was a term originally used by Farmers who would mark their livestock by cutting identifiable markings in the ears of the animals that belonged to them. Unfortunately, during slavery, humans were branded on their shoulders, buttock, palms, and cheeks with a branding iron for much the same reasons as farmers branded their livestock. Holocaust victims were tattooed on the forearm.
Trademarks, nameplates, and logos are examples of ear markers.
Vocalics/ Paralanguage (Incorporating the nonverbal)
When you verbalize, your listener hears the words you speak, but the listener also hears the nonverbal sounds you make as you speak or how your language is structured vocally; this is your paralanguage.
Paralanguage is the nonverbal sound of what we hear or the vocal structure of language. Understanding the characteristics of paralanguage would enable you to understand the subtleties of language structure and enable you to listen between the words.
In our discussion on delivery in the previous chapter, we covered pitch, rate, and volume as it related to delivery; here, these characteristics are being introduced again in relation to paralanguage and nonverbal communication.
- Pitch – this is the highness or lowness of your tone. Your tone is your voice without the words. Your tone, therefore, helps you to communicate what you mean, or it can reveal what you meant to conceal, including your attitude, personality, or emotional state.
- Volume – how loudly or softly you speak is your volume, and it helps to reveal aspects of your culture because volume varies across cultures; speaking loudly is perceived as yelling in some cultures, while in other cultures it is used to gain attention.
- Rate – this is how quickly or slowly you speak, and your rate of speech can reveal your attitude or emotional state of mind. Speaking slowly or slurring your words could indicate boredom, lack of energy, or a psychological problem.
- Quality – this characteristic of paralanguage relates to the way the voice resonates, either producing a pleasing or not-so-pleasing sound to others.The sound of your voice can often reveal your life Singers often have melodic speaking voices, smokers, have raspy voices, and some talk radio personalities have smooth silky voices.
- Fluency – this characteristic of paralanguage is also associated with sound quality, but more about the flow or tempo of the speech, which tends to indicate the level of confidence of the speaker.
Chronemics (Incorporating the nonverbal)
Chronemics is the study of how time is structured and used.
There are many procrastinators perhaps reading this information at this very moment, and it is bothersome to most of you that this problem persists. There is hope.
Procrastinators always believe they have more time to complete tasks and projects than they actually do have, and they would, if only they would manage time better.
Your regard for time is both cultural and personal; while your culture may dictate the importance of certain time lines or events, your personality dictates how you actually use these time lines.
Some cultures adhere to a Monochronic time orientation; time is devoted to single and precise activities, and segmented into small units of time. Cultures that practice monochromic time orientation would disapprove of interruptions that could change the schedule.
The United States, Switzerland, Germany, and Israel are countries whose cultures are monochromic. In the United States, time is scheduled and structured; a fitting example of this is working in media with advertisers.
Advertisers purchase time (referred to as spots, in the industry) from television and radio stations based on either a type of time? or type of show, or sometimes a combination of both. Each time slot sold garners a specific number of rating points or audience viewership, measured per household. If that advertiser’s spot fails to air in that time purchased, the station must provide credit to the advertiser in the form of free advertisement spots; time equals money in the broadcasting industry.
Some cultures adhere to a Polychronic time orientation, where time is more fluid, adaptable, and interchangeabl;, multiple activities and ventures can occur at the same time without causing a disruption. In fact, disruptions and deviations are seen as natural and a usual aspect of doing business or functioning.
Chile and Mexico are among the Latin American countries with polychronic cultures. The Mediterranean, parts of Africa, Asia, France, and the Middle East are other countries that prefer multi-tasking or practice polychronic time orientation.
Adjacent to Mono-chronic and Polychronic time orientation are time practices; military or formal time and informal time (less structured). The characteristics of both are the same; however, the written/verbal formats differ.
Military time is precise and non-ambiguous; it begins from 0 and ends at 24, which represents the hours in a day. The United States is one of the only nations that uses military time, while most of the world uses the 24-hour clock, which is much more accurate, and this brings us back to culture, nonverbal communication, and the influence of time on our nonverbal behaviors and vice versa.
Territoriality (Incorporating the nonverbal)
Informal time has three characteristics: punctuality, activity, and duration.
- Punctuality – is the extent to which you adhere to an appointed regular time.
Depending on your culture, being on time may be viewed as very important or you being overly anxious if you are too early (ten minutes before the hour).
If you live in Switzerland or Germany, tardiness will be viewed as disrespectful. If you live in the Caribbean, most appointments are made on very imprecise times; therefore, it is not uncommon to hear meetings being set for “around 10” or “1 ish”, and individuals would arrive for the meeting 10-20 minutes after the stated hour and it would be viewed as quite alright.
- Activity – this is what people perceive should be done in given time periods of the day. Cultures with a monochronic time orientation are less lenient on digressing from set or traditional activities at apportioned times of the day, than do polychromic time orientation cultures.
Activities are on occasion not only culture-specific, but also age and gender-specific as well; therefore, the hour of the day, day of the week, age of participants, and the culture will determine the activity.
- Duration – the third characteristic of informal time is the amount or length of time you would regard as appropriate for certain events or activities.
The duration of an event or project is determined by the length of time it would take to complete that event or project, as well as the number of people working on its completion.
Figure 8.4.
If a single project, depending on its complexity, would take approximately 3 hours to complete, and there are 3 individuals assigned to it, then that project should be completed in 1 hour. This is the appropriate time that would be assigned to that event or project.
Haptics
Haptics is the study of the use of touch, which is fundamental to human behavior and existence.
Different cultures and genders differ in attitudes on touching. There are two categories of cultures that fall under touching behavior (Hall); contact cultures and non-contact cultures.
In Contact Cultures, people touch more and communicate in closer proximity to each other; they use more eye contact and face each other squarely when conversing.
Cultures from Latin America and from Southern Europe including Bulgaria, Albania, Italy, Greece, and Spain, to name a few, touch more often.
In Non-contact or low contact cultures, people touch less and maintain greater distances between each other when conversing; individuals face each other indirectly and speak more quietly.
Cultures from China, Japan, Korea, Finland, Sweden, and Norway are representative of this type of culture.
Nonverbally, touch communicates many messages; some positive others negative, but touch serves many functions in both high contact and low contact cultures.
- Touch is used in healing, and is one of the oldest forms of medical care.
- Touch builds emotional connections.
- Touch is commonly used in social communication.
- To be social/polite, as a way of recognizing and acknowledging each other, we touch.
- When you want to communicate friendliness or warmth, touching is used.
- In Professional situations, like a doctor/patient interaction, touch is necessary.
- When demonstrating intimacy or expressing love, touching is incorporated.
- Touch is used to restrain, such as during an arrest or detainment.
To Increase your Nonverbal skills
There are many ways to communicate nonverbally and increase your nonverbal skills. First, be cautious when attempting to interpret nonverbal messages and nonverbal behaviors since they can mean many things.
Secondly, become more conscious of your body language, more observant of behaviors, and pay attention to your listener’s culture and the nonverbal cues they are sending
Thirdly, you must become more aware of the messages you might be inadvertently sending.
Finally, don’t assume that your nonverbal are innocent or harmless; try to find out other nonverbal meanings and respect those meanings.
These suggestions would help you avoid miscommunication, strengthen and deepen your relationships, and promote harmony within and outside of your cultural settings.
PART 7
SUMMARY
In this discussion on Language, you learned that language is both verbal and non-verbal, and language is a structured method of human communication using words, writings, or gestures systematically.
You learned that words are basic elements of language, comprised of a combination of letters or symbols forming sounds, with commonly understood meanings to the people of that language community.
Language (verbal communication) is used to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences; it is evaluative, which means that you can place a negative or positive spin on it by the words you choose to use. It is self-reflective because it uses words to talk about words, and language is useful to discuss and understand things you have not personally experienced.
How we use language and the language itself has changed generationally, making the relationship and understanding between Denotative and Connotative words complicated.
Denotative is the dictionary meaning and Connotative is the emotional association of the word; because the distinctions are complicated, it is imperative that when you communicate, you do so with clarity. What assists clarity is being specific, precise, and concrete. To achieve this ability, you need to read more and develop your critical thinking skills.
If you feel the need to or must generalize, Date and Index your generalizations. Dating your Generalizations is to time-reference when a fact was true or known to be true, and Indexing your Generalization is to account for individual differences in data being provided that may be too broad in its present form.
Language, culture, and gender being inseparable has produced four distinctions in our cultural/language connotations, which are Individualistic cultures (individual goals take precedence) and Collectivist cultures (group goals take precedence), High Uncertainty Avoidance (uncertainty is not tolerated) and Low Uncertainty Avoidance cultures (uncertainty is ignored or tolerated); Masculine cultures (rigid gender roles of expected behavior) and Feminine cultures (males and females vary their roles), and High Power Distance cultures (show respect for authority and power) and Low Power Distance cultures (less distinction between the powerful and powerless).
Nonverbal communication is communicating without the use of words, or the process of stimulating meaning in the mind of another human being by using nonverbal messages. Its characteristics are: symbolic, involves decoding and encoding, it is dynamic and static, rules-governed, cultural, personal, and less controlled or controllable.
Nonverbal communication behavior are the actions, activities, and vocal qualities that typically accompany a verbal message.
The characteristics of nonverbal communication behavior are: universal (common facial expressions), ambiguous (same behavior representing different emotions), continuous (ceaseless in someone else’s presence), multichannel (simultaneous usage of more than one sense), and insightful into emotional states (more emotionally perceptive than words).
Combining the verbal and nonverbal behavior produces a more potent form of nonverbal communication behavior, referred to as Body Motion Codes; these are; Emblems (replaces a word or phrase), Illustrators (compliments what is being stated), Regulators (regulates conversation flow), Affect Displays (verbal expression of an experience), and Adaptors (tension relievers).
Finally, other ways we use nonverbal communication in our lives, referred to as types of nonverbal communication, are through the Environment (the settings influencing our perceptions), Proxemics (study of space), Aesthetics (temperature, lighting, and color), Territory (reaction to an area, space, or object owned), Paralanguage (vocal structure of language), Chronemics (study of informal time), and Haptics (study of touch).
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- Discuss a time in your life when you could not find the appropriate words to express your thoughts or How did that make you feel, and how were you able to overcome those feelings and that experience?
- Reflecting back, discuss the ways you believe your language and the language of people you know personally, like family members or close friends, have changed over the years. How did that occur and what drew your attention to those changes?
- What kinds of adjustments, if any, did you have to make over the years in your verbal as well as your nonverbal communication behavior to stay abreast of the changes in language and behavior generationally, and did those changes help you to become a better communicator?
